If you touch me, I'll punch you in the face.

Talking in class today and watching the Hip Hop video Monday- the ultimate feeling I have is complete amazement- and not the good kind. I'm the kind of person that will stand up for what I believe in and won't apologize for it. I've been at parties or dances where guys just felt like they could come up and start grinding on me and I'd turn around and yell at them (probably not very lady like, but seriously...get away!)

So when I was watching those women be completely nonchalant about the way these men were objectifying them, it just blew my mind. Maybe I take things too personally, but when I hear guys talk about "Utah County" girls, I don't shrug it off. I tell them exactly the kind of person I am and try to get them to see that maybe their view is a little narrow minded. I don't think it's fair to judge me based on an opinion of someone else. I wish the women in that video felt the same.

I think it does come back to being educated. Maybe they truly think the music videos with naked chicks running around with dudes throwing money at them is not in any way harming them. But it does. It absolutely does. Not only does it stereotype them, but it also teaches men that women are only there for one reason and they should expect that of women.

It's a lot to think about. I hope somehow, even though it's an enormous task, we can in someway begin to help people become more media literate.

Um, maybe you shouldn't say that?

So this week we've talked a lot about race and our society.

The thing that always comes into my mind when this subject comes up is my Dad's Father.

I don't really know why, but he is incredibly racist and has never hid it. I'm sure when I was younger I didn't really notice or understand, but as I've gotten older it's been hard for me to sit and listen to him sometimes. Every time I heard him say the "N" word I can't help but cringe. I understand it's somewhat of a generational thing, but I'm a little white girl from Provo Utah and it still hurts me to hear him say it. I credit my parents for teaching me that having those feelings and saying those things is completely unacceptable.

I've also wondered why the black community feels it is OK to use that word amongst themselves. I would want my friends calling me a bitch over and over because I think it's demeaning and I think it almost has the same connotation to me as the "N" word has to black people. Maybe not, I don't know. Either way, I don't really this it's OK to do that. But then again, I'm not black so I can't exactly speak for any black person. Which is fine. Just a lot to think about I guess.

Couldn't pay me to do it again!

So in talking about Advertising this week, my mind kept wandering back to my high school days. We have been talking so much about body image, and back then thoughts about my weight literally consumed every day of my life. Today, I weigh about 112 lbs and I'm 5'1. The heaviest I have ever been was in high school my sophomore year at 136 lbs, and was around 4'11 until I was about 17 (the fact that I remember that so distinctly should tell you something). It may not sound like much to you, but on a smaller frame that weight had less places to go.

Every day I woke up wishing I were someone else because I didn't want to be "fat." The weird thing is, I was active. I was a competitive ballroom dancer since I was 9 and was even a cheerleader. Although, I think that made things worse for me. All I saw around me were these little tiny girls getting thrown in the air, and chicks in these fabulous dresses with even more fabulous frames to display them. I felt so out of place and thought, "If only I were skinny like them I could be happy."

It has just made me think that although all the friends I had had these "perfect" bodies, there were influences from the media dismorphing my body image as well. I remember watching The Real World even back then and thinking I could never be on that show because they only cast girls who looked hot in bikinis. I looked disgusting in one. I would never get boys to like me because I didn't look like my sister who was tan, blond, 5'7, and 98 lbs with a C cup.

What I've realized since then is that not being them, not being this perfect stereotypical cheerleader, I had to rely on other things. I had to rely on being smart, making people laugh, being witty, and using my personality to get recognized as opposed to my boobs. It's made me a much better person than I ever would have been had I been than barbie girl.

I guess ultimately I want to teach my children that beauty is so ambiguous. YOU are PERFECT EXACTLY the way you are. It doesn't matter what size your jeans are.... you still matter. You still can make a difference and you can be important even if the scale tips a little bit. It is so hard in our society to believe that because we are getting sent SO many messages which most of us will never live up to. But, that doesn't mean we should let it get the best of us. All we can do is be a part of the change.

This is my Junior year. I'm the one on the front left. I have tiny legs, but there is a reason I'm bending over. I'm also wearing a body slimmer underneath my uniform ( I don't think I've ever told anyone that!)

Shaving cream anyone?

This week we have been talking a lot about feminism, burning bras, not wearing make-up etc. Before I get into it, it's not that I don't have respect for what women were trying to do by expressing themselves this way. I get that. But is it really THAT bad shaving your legs?

Personally, I'm cool with being able to wear make up, dress up and wear high heels, and shave my freakin legs. I don't think it's demeaning or sends a message that I'm trying to please some creepy old man, I just feel better about myself when I don't roll out of bed for the day and go!

It also seems like chicks who DO want to do these things (make up, heels, etc.) are seen as "conforming to the man." Whatev guys. If being into shopping and buying cute dresses makes me an evil man pleasing whore, then fine. At least I'm cute while doing it.

Gross.