Wednesday, February 25, 2009

If you touch me, I'll punch you in the face.

Talking in class today and watching the Hip Hop video Monday- the ultimate feeling I have is complete amazement- and not the good kind. I'm the kind of person that will stand up for what I believe in and won't apologize for it. I've been at parties or dances where guys just felt like they could come up and start grinding on me and I'd turn around and yell at them (probably not very lady like, but seriously...get away!)

So when I was watching those women be completely nonchalant about the way these men were objectifying them, it just blew my mind. Maybe I take things too personally, but when I hear guys talk about "Utah County" girls, I don't shrug it off. I tell them exactly the kind of person I am and try to get them to see that maybe their view is a little narrow minded. I don't think it's fair to judge me based on an opinion of someone else. I wish the women in that video felt the same.

I think it does come back to being educated. Maybe they truly think the music videos with naked chicks running around with dudes throwing money at them is not in any way harming them. But it does. It absolutely does. Not only does it stereotype them, but it also teaches men that women are only there for one reason and they should expect that of women.

It's a lot to think about. I hope somehow, even though it's an enormous task, we can in someway begin to help people become more media literate.


  1. I think one that should be touched on more in our education system is media literacy. I always felt that I had common sense growing up. But until I started studying the media in college, I wasn't media literate. If youths in high school can begin to see media as forms of making money and entertaining, not necessarily a reflection of real life, I think we would see a lot less of the crap down at Daytona.
    I disagreed with some comments made in class that alluded to the fact that those women in bikinis deserved to get their butts pinched because they put their scantily-clad selves there in that situation. They were at a freakin' beach! Who wears modest clothing at a beach during spring break? Do I have the right to go sexually assault women laying out by the pool just because they're in their bathing suits? Of course not! And neither did those guys in Daytona. I'm sick of the stereotype "boys will be boys" when it comes to women. According to the stereotypes, all men care about is sex, and that they'll do anything to get it. It's even worse in the hip hop culture. "Artists" like Nelly only do more damage with their music videos. Women are shamelessly objectified, and men are portrayed as nothing but sex-crazed maniacs. And unfortunately, most people lack the media literacy to see through the crap out there.

  2. Thank you for that comment Tyson. I felt the same way. How can you possibly say that a woman who is raped, sexually assaulted, or who is molested in public- all of which is unwanted and unwarranted- was asking for it?! How is it a woman's fault if those things happen to her? This idea is tightly wound up in the idea that men don't have to be responsible for their actions or exercise any self-control or precaution, yet a woman does. That's like saying, men don't think, they only can react to what they see and women are responsible for that reaction. I know there's truth in that a woman in probably less likely going to be touched inappropriately if she is dressed more conservatively, but I'd venture that a majority of the population in this country (and others for that matter)do not have that self awareness. This whole idea just pisses me off. It goes back to Douglas and 'Where the Girls Are' and that virginity/whore thing. The woman will be judged on whether or not they are sexually active/promiscuous and all the stereotype that goes with is, yet men (who is a big part of the problem, since they also are engaging in sexual activity) have no responsibility whatsoever in those social issues. Wow. Are you kidding me? I don't find it a comfort that this kind of injustice STILL exists concerning gender, the face of the issue has changed only a little. Boys will be boys? Give me a break. No woman ANYWHERE should ever have to 'expect' to be treated that way.

  3. I completely agree with you both! Just because I want to go out dancing with some friends, because I'm there, that automatically means I'm ASKING for some guy to be all over me?! NO! All of us need to take responsiblity for our actions... Men included. I couldn't believe we even questioned that notion in class.

  4. Yo B!

    That's right be miss independent. When I saw the girls on that video I was downright shocked to see them let guys get away with as much as they were. Remember proxemics and all that? Someone was in my personal space that I didn't know I would tell them it made me feel uncomfortable.

    I agree it comes with being a bit more educated...more then that, more educated socially. No matter what color you are black, white, green or yellow it still in not the "social norm" to just randomly touch someone in inappropriate places.

  5. I am so glad it isn't just me. I didn't even watch the right video (somehow?) but those comments in class- some people just like to hear their voices I think and need to actually think through what they are saying before they spew it.

    In the words of Fergie-Ferg: You can look but you can't touch it, If you touch it I'ma start some drama, You don't want no drama, No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama!

    So don't pull on my hand boy, You ain't my man,boy, I'm just tryin' ta dance boy,
    And move my hump.


  6. Yeah I felt so bad for those women in the video, and how especially at the spring break convention they just were just taking all that harassment because I don't think they really know's just the way life is to them. That's how they're taught and that's what they see and hear so that's just life. I can't imagine, so sad.

  7. I think you have the complete right to tell some guy that he doesn't have that right to do that to you. It takes courage to stand up for things like that. It was ridiculous the way those men were acting in the video towards the women and the fact that the women didn't respond as you would have might come from a lack of education to how they should respond. Maybe they were also affraid of responding because they didn't know what was going to happen if they did with all those men around. It seemed like a dangerous situation for the women in the video. An education can make a big difference on how you should react to others in such situations. And I'm not just talking abut a school education but a sexual education about the differences between right and wrong when it comes to sexual things. Just because a girls in a bikini, it doesn't give the right to up to her and harass her. I may not approve of what she is wearing, but at least I know what I shouldn't do.

  8. Ok. The word 'grinding' just sounds disgusting to me for some reason. It's like the words 'yummy' and 'gelatin'. I hear those words and I feel totally uncomfortable.

    To be honest I've never been grinded. Blah. (Even typing it makes me want to vomit.) But, I can imagine it could be quite an uncomfortable situation especially when the person doing said action is a complete stranger. So, good for you Bailey. It's perfectly lady like to tell a guy to get out of your space.

    What made me sick about the film was how little it seemed the cops cared about all of the harassment that was going on. It's also sad how most of the time the blame goes on the woman for what she wore (or didn't wear). Why can't we men accept some of the responsibility? We aren't a bunch of monkeys. We're human beings and ought to treat each other with more respect.

  9. So this sort of reminds me on an article I read in the New Era.... I feel sort of like a nerd for just admitting that it was just on the table and I was bored... anyways. What the article was about what a girl going to a dance that wasn't LDS and getting encircled by several guys all dancing up on her. She felt extremely uncomfortable, but yet none of them would let her leave. Eventually she broke out and started crying because of how violated she felt. Then she looked back and saw a different girl in the same position enjoying it and having the time of her life. It is crazy how two different people will react to the same situation.
    I know if I was in the same situation I Would be pissed. I went to a UVU dance and people are just all over the place and all over me for that matter. My roommates were dancing and totally cool with the close proximities and the random guys occasionally rubbing up against them. I however felt just a grossed out. Partially because of how sweaty they were and partially because I didn't know them and they were touching me. It isn't right how women are portrayed in rap music. However, women accept it and even portray the lyrics in videos. I would hope that they would have more respect for themselves then that.